If you like serious crap, you'll love this!

Back in the day, I used to wish to become a soldier. They were considered as heroes by thousands, and they were commended by strangers on the street for their selfless acts on the front lines. Plus, I get to shoot people without any consequences! It was like a zombie apocalypse, without all the survival and emotional ties towards the people you're against.

My dad always pushed for it. He himself dreamed of being enlisted as a soldier to continue his father's legacy in his time during World War II. But, due to lack of sufficient money, my dad never got past a high school diploma, erasing his chances of becoming a soldier.

I always thought that his proudest moment of me was when I announced to the family back then that I wanted to become part of the military. He wanted to fulfill his sole dream through me, so he pushed and pushed me to become his ideal soldier. He signed me up for multiple sports activities such as basketball and football. He also tried to get me into boot camp, despite being deep in debt at the time.

Since I was still young and fully ignorant at the time, I didn't mind his enthusiasm. I would have loved to be part of the military to finally get him to be proud of me for something, anything. But, two things recently occurred that transformed my entire perspective and made me doubt my previous decision:

Cracked.com is a comedy website that's filled with obscure facts and little known stories. They excel in destroying previously known beliefs through the use of scientific facts and jokes about their penises. They also have a group of full time columnists whose job is to make at least one column per week about any subject they wish.

During the end of 2011, eight of the columnists constructed a 64 item list about eight subjects in which they told something about their top pick and why. David Wong, the chief editor, picked Portal 2 as his game of the year (which I absolutely agree with and will probably be something I will talk about some other time). He opened up his reasoning by explaining that trying to reach for better graphics is completely superfluous today:

"Hey, video game industry, what are you going to do when you can't make any more meaningful advances in graphics? I've been asking you this for like seven years now, because we're pretty much there. The next generation of game hardware will be all about taking us through that last 1 percent of photorealism, and I have to tell you, it's a gap that's not worth filling.

Remember, you need to keep at least a little bit of uncanny valley in your video games. I need to still feel good about shooting these dudes on the screen. I want the enemy soldiers to look like real video game people, not real people people. I don't want to look into the face of a victim and see their hopes and dreams die, the light going out of their eyes as they realize they will never again hug their wife and kids on Christmas. So, yeah, you can pretty much stop where you are."

I recommend reading the rest of the article here.

While I enjoyed a good laugh out of it, the last paragraph in particular stuck to me. Even though I enjoyed barbarically murdering people in video games, I never thought of translating it to real life. For some reason, I thought that playing hundreds hours of Battlefield and Call of Duty would be enough for me to gauge the brutality of warfare.

I never tried to imagine what I would do in a situation where I face a man pleading for his life in the midst of battle when before he ran out of ammo, he was shooting at everybody in sight. I never tried to imagine if I would end this man's life or let him continue on, opening up the entirely plausible scenario of him stabbing me in the back once I turned around. I never tried to imagine if I even had the guts to take away somebody's life while erasing any possibility of letting him continue his future plans of proposing to a girl he loved, visiting a sickly mother, or going on a trip around the world with his best friend.

That was when I decided that I could bring myself to be part of the military.

Ahaha

Hahahaha, oh man. Remember when I said I was going to do this for thirty days straight? Good times. Just speaks about my dedication on things. Anyway, I'm still not giving up. I'll just make it all up by making three blog posts today four the next day as much as I can for the next few days.

This doesn't count as one, by the way, so don't fret Google [Bot]! You can still count on this blog to skim through for keywords on search engines. I won't fail you.

That time of the year

It's that time of the year again: the time when guys and gals in sweet embrace clog the hallways to us lonely weirdos that have to get to class. I can't say I dislike the 14th; it's a time when I see a lot of people at their happiest at the same time. Giving gifts and exchanging cards like it's a Christmas song, they profess to their dearest their affection through a shower of overpriced chocolate and cheesy Hallmark cards.

I also can't say that I'm not jealous of them either. I mean, unless you absolutely despise the thought of human comfort, it's only natural to feel envious of people that have the luxury of sharing it with somebody. I have two friends who had been going out for approximately six years. While meritorious in itself, it's even more commendable to their commitment that their parents are strictly opposed to them being together. "Star-crossed lovers", as Shakespeare described their dilemma. 

I've helped them get through their troubles by trying to figure out ways on how to quell the tension between the conflicted parties, distract their parents as they try to meet each other for a few seconds, and even acting as a look out for passersby that have a chance of catching them together. I wouldn't hesitate to help who I consider my two best friends again if the moment presents itself. I can feel the joy they get by just seeing each other face to face for mere moments instead of the cloak-and-dagger practices they employ to continue communication. It's almost addicting, yet the feeling of sorrow is always present. Their happiness always stings, as if it was a mockery of something I couldn't have.

Then I met somebody around eight months ago (I counted to make sure). From the moment her and I talked, it was easy. I didn't feel the usual insecurities I felt when talking to somebody I never met before. It was just a go ahead swing from the batter's box (what a terrible metaphor). Since we were both strangers that didn't even think about the possibility of hooking up, we were free to be truthful to each other. I readily told her my stories as a part time bodybuilder, ninja, and fresco artist while she captivated me with stories about her occasional werewolf hunting on the weekends.

As time went on by, the relationship then started to tread into serious levels, finally reaching marriage. Granted, it was in a MMORPG I barely played, but it was very symbolic, mind you.

But then, misunderstandings started to plague us. During a tough episode in my life, my behavior started to change for the worse. Irrational envy began to grow in me, which led to some petty misgivings on completely innocent people. Then, events took a turn for the worse that eventually led to me practically shutting out everybody that tried to communicate, including her. In hindsight, this was objectively one of the worst decisions I could have possibly made. I entirely acted on emotional impulse and did not think of the ramifications that could develop from my illogical move.

The whole point of this entry is to express my sincerest apology for being an irrational dick out of nowhere. It wasn't right of me to shut you out because of matters that didn't even affect you. It isn't justifiable for me to claim to be "compromised by emotions". It's a terribly lazy excuse to even be thought of.

Now I hardly think that it'll be that easy for me to get back to the way things were before. I'm a realist, and I hope that at the very least that we can still be friends. I'd hate to actually lose who I'd consider to be my closest confidant for the past several months.

So yeah. I remember promising you a sign way back then, and I inexcusably never got to make one. So, for the past two to three days, I've been practicing my sketches so I can finally transcend the "stick figure" level and actually make a somewhat barely comprehensible sign:

I know you said it wasn't your thing to be all emotional and stuff, so I'm sorry for that one as well. I just hope you take the time to consider my apology. Good night and Happy Valentines day, you.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (spoilers? you tell me)

For my first actual post, I guess it's only fitting to talk about my favorite movie: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, although I might and probably will talk about the comics from time to time (also my favorite comic book series).

People ask me all the time why I love this movie so much. From first look, it's hard to find a reason. It certainly didn't fare well in the box office, losing over $50 million dollars in the budget. The trailers, from a non fan perspective, weren't very inviting. The "Micheal Cera effect" also caused people to find another movie to throw their money at. It didn't help that movies such as The Expendables and Eat, Pray, Love were released at the same time. Finally, they did not give out enough information about the plot, so most people's first thoughts about the movie were that it was about  a guy dating a girl who has bitter ex boyfriends. Also hipsters.

"This will be the whole movie" - them

The truth is that the story is so much deeper than a glorified movie about high school drama that everybody thought was going to be. I think that DOB perfectly articulated it here:

"I don't think I've ever been angry when the rest of the country didn't like a piece of pop culture that I liked, but I am now. I've always been one of those "It's cool if you don't like Arrested Development or Clone High, whatever, that's your thing." 

But I'm bummed that Scott Pilgrim is under-performing so spectacularly. I loved this movie so, so much and, beyond that, loved what it was doing. It was like someone said "Hey, you know how people like concerts? And great comedy? And totally badass, well-choreographed serious fight sequences? And romance? What if we broke all the rules and put the best parts of all of those things INTO ONE MOVIE?" And they did, and did so in a way that didn't disrupt the spirit of the movie or the comics. Someone took a bunch of fun, awesome things and made the most exciting experience I've had watching a movie since I don't know when. I thought the beginning was a little bit slow and I was worried for about the first six minutes, but once it picked up I was hooked. As I was watching it I thought "Well, Edgar Wright did it, he just raised the bar for movies." 

But now no one is going to see this movie."

Edgar Wright, at his best, made a spectacular film that perfectly embodied everything I ever loved and I didn't even know I loved but do now. It featured music numbers from fictional bands and a dance number by some Indian dude. It showed an epic bass battle between the main protagonist and a guy who had superpowers that came from his healthy lifestyle. It even had goddamn Captain America skateboarding on a rail. Did I also mention that it had two dragons and King Kong fistfighting against each other?

Seriously.

But beyond all the glitter and jazz of the special effects and pee bars, the story was just as deep and mature as it was entertaining. Ramona Flowers, who moved away to Toronto in an attempt to escape an oppressive lifestyle, reluctantly agreed to go out with Scott with the knowledge that he was just a "simple" rebound. As time went on, they discovered each other's ugly sides and by the end of the movie, they were in silent agreement that they'll stick with each other no matter what. It's definitely cheesy, but it's absolutely poetic and it works.

All in all, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and the comics (especially the comics) tell a tale that seamlessly combines comedy, romance, music, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead into a perfect brew that's sure to be a crowd pleaser, despite what the numbers say. It may not be the best movie ever made, but it certainly is my favorite movie ever made, and I have a feeling that it will remain that way for a long time.

oh hello

hello

This is my depository for my adventures regarding pirate fighting and women seduction. My main goal is to keep doing this at least once a day for thirty days and see how I like it. If I enjoy it, I guess I'll just keep going.  So yeah, if anybody likes my sentences and wants to see more of them, here you go. These are for you.

That's about it. Bye.